Thursday, August 18, 2011

Welcome to Love

Dear Self,
I got two tattoos today. You are probably thinking “so what?” but these were not regular tattoos just for art. I did not pick them, they chose me. They distracted my mind and wouldn’t allow me to think of anything else until I decided I was going to get them. They nagged and picked at my thoughts until all my thoughts became focused on manifesting they’re reality on me. The first requested to be placed on the right. My more dominant side. The side I lean on. The side I will always lend more attention to. So that I never forget to “Love Thyself.” On the left, the reflective, compliment of my right, once just flesh now has a symbol etched on its surface. An African symbol, created by a chief that missed his home and longed to be with his people. The symbol that will always remind me that “Love never loses its way home.” Not to remind me that a lost love will return but that love itself will return to the place it comes from. A revelation to me that if I bear love and it comes from within me and if from the depths of myself I send out love then that is where it will always return. Through trying to love others, sometimes forcing my love onto others and losing them, I have learned that the one person I should love the most, the one that will never leave, is myself. I must first be full of  love in order to give bountiful love. So I am no longer outsourcing my love, searching for love in some far away place or person but am healing the original source. Learning from love to love me first. So here is to losing a love in order to gain the truest love of them all.


Love is Me

Its not you I needed but all of this I needed to get out.
Out of me
Was holding me
Pressing me down couldn't fly
Didn't have the strength
But did without knowing it
Letting you go
Letting me out
This my love
Me my love
Is mine
The only form of love that is possessive
Is the love of thyself
You couldn't give it to me
Though I requested
With hands out
Arms outstretched
Heart half open
Soul half closed
Searching for love
Definition unknown
But searching
In you
What all along was in me
Was me
Took it in and let it reform me
Transform me
In to it
Once looking without
For what I know now,
Love and me are one in the same

Monday, September 13, 2010


So close
Long nights
Even longer days
Soon the time will come for us to count the ways close...
Seeing your face
Welcome the taste
Loneliness replaced
Finally you near me
Tipping touching arousing me close...
The first time
Long awaited
Suspense weighted
Desire elevated close...
Close your eyes
Relax your mind
Feel me
And fill me
Slowly close...
You're sitting
I'm standing
Eyes demanding
...come close...
I move closer
Shortening the distance
Forfeiting resistance
Make reality of your wishes close...
See me
Sense me
Clothes give way and reveal me
Yet you wait
For me
I kiss
You kiss
You touch
We touch
So...very close...
Slip and slide
Fit perfectly
Wrap legs horizontally
Pull you closer to me
Be gentle
Enter slowly
The first time
What a surprise
Gasp when you realize
Closer than anytime before
So close making you hunger for more
Touch tip
Awaken sleeping lips
Anticipate the dip
Eyes close
The body knows
Automatic the motion flows
Welcoming you to your new home
Surrounded by pillows
Manhood evaporates in erogenous zones
Lover, fighter, flighter
Come let's get higher
Re-acknowledge the sounds
Music in the background
Moaning resounds
Breathing meeting the rhythm
Beats drum
drips drop in between them
Waited soooo long
Force the moment to last longer
Regain composure
Fight pleasure
river flow float and follow
Orgasmic violence
And we struggle
...too close...
Sensory anxiety
Revolting urges
Pheromones encouraging
Partake of me
Indulge in me
Break free
Embrace your mini death and resurrect in me
Listen to me
...I'm close...
Its not a race
Hold on to second place
Propel me
Steer and replace me
Even closer
Bury your face
White flags
Towels thrown
scream turned yelling and ends with a moan.

Fem Fatale

His desire for her is obvious
An unquenched flame
Temporarily tamed by his current one
He leaves his want for her unresolved
Afraid he'll be consumed by her and
spiral down into an abyss of bliss
She, the snake charmer
Her, his heart, she gave him her own to wear as armor
Like blood and water
Love is stronger than lust
She a preying mantis
To destroy what they have is what she thirst
She wants to get to him but only if she can get to her first
Seduction her potion, strong but not as strong as their devotion
Not because she can't win but because he refuses to lose
Him being well versed in the 80/20 rule
Her wants she too
Just once to see if its all true
Prove herself the fittest of the two
The battle of the Ms. vs the Mrs……
To be continued

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Key

For so long the secrets of my garden were locked up and tucked away, hidden even to myself. My heart was the cold guardian of my golden gates. With one touch he warmed me from the inside out. Angel wings held so tight loosen their grasped. Opened wide and welcoming the lock jingled the nearer he approached. Lacing his entrance to make adjusting to him easier all clasps previously secured gave way. Went from denying to begging enter me, be the one to release me.
Pleasurable pain accompanied him my aura guided him steadfast towards the light. As  dark clouds broke sunlight beamed through roses bloomed, water lillys surfaced chocolate mountains parted forming valleys of milk n honey. Click click unlock hard metal hits the ground. Gates peeled back shutters pushed open. He takes deliberate steps tip toes turning into dew everything he touches melting away memories of anyone who has ever treaded before him. Gentle footprints imprinted one by one staining my heart with the letters of his name. Deeper in he goes, unveiling every flower tapping every bud springing forward with excitement. Without fail he finds it, the buried treasure, slumbering unaware of the paradise it could reveal. The chamber of the Goddess only unearthed twice for brief moments in time. He stalls his movements marvels in the presence of her glory. Absorbs her radiance and proceeds to stir her fortress. Gently rocking her majesty from her coma. Soothing motions raises her eyes, she stretches and swells, continued motivation she rises and falls. He the puppet master she his marionette. His motions cause her to stand and dance and soon begins to sing. Her words float upward and outward bellows through the doors from wench he came pried open by his prowess never to be closed again. He visits often always finding his way seamlessly. The Goddess sleeps and awaits to be awaken as she knows she will be.

Monday, February 15, 2010

A Lover's Return

Trevor hadn't realized how much time had passed until that first reuniting glance. It took him minutes to recognize her as she walked towards him looking more confident, determined, much sexier than he remembered her being. She had a new walk, a stronger stride that spoke of the hidden power she held between her thighs. As she got closer the smile that had melted his heart many years ago began to spread itself across her lips. Teeth white enough to put a sparkle in his eye. Her locs had gotten longer, and looked freshly done, he could see the definition in her tightly twisted roots and the glistening of the carols daughter oil he remembered that she used. She was glowing. Skin more taunt than he remembered, she didn't look slack before but she definitely looked tighter now. The face that could fool anyone trying to guess her age. She'd loss some weight but kept it in all of the right places. Her thighs, still thick but tougher than before. With every step he could see her muscles flex and release, he imagined she could probably crush walnuts between now. Her waist now evidently pinched in at the sides giving her a hour glass resemblance. Her breast, he stopped for a brief moment to take in her breast. His mind drifted to the first time she let down her boundaries for a moment and let him get to know them. How those two well defined mounds of flesh topped with chocolate covered cherries hypnotized him. "Uhnnnn" his thoughts betrayed he and his lips exposed his thoughts, shocking him out of his own trace.

Why didn't he remember her like this. How could she have changed so much in the matter of months. He tried to count backwards in his head to count the days that had passed since he last saw her. He remembers places his gone, people he'd seen, events that she was not present at and keeps counting. Concerts, trips, lunches and dinners and counts. The last time he noticed they hadn't seen each other a month had already passed. "Could it really have been that long?" He thinks still counting, "3 months ?,” Its been about three months" he settles at that thought, shakes his head, wonders how he could have let so much time pass since seeing the women he loved. They now lived in the same city, since on her last vacation she decided not to return to the place she never referred to as home, but had lived for seven years. When she first made the decision, he was so happy, grateful to be able to spend any and every chosen day and night with her. He was so enraptured by her, so how could three months pass without him noticing, without her making a fuss. The last mention she made of the intangible distance between them, she had posted "Day 22" on her myspace page and when he asked what it stood for she snapped back "the number of days since we last had sex." That was the last he heard of it but he never questioned why she didn't speak of it after, they both just let time fly. And now she was in arms length, a breeze blows and her scent greets him before she does. She smells the same but different. Earthy and aromatic. She waves at him and his heart stops when he sees a ring on her left ring finger and frowns.

"Ill what's up with that, you don't see me and you frowning?" When she interlocks and crosses her arms together he recognizes the ring she had bought for herself and had always worn and feels dumb. He breathes, hoping the air with push his heart back into its rightful place. "Nah, sorry, my bad, thought I saw something crazy behind you." "What my ass, you've forgotten how nice it is." Smiling and laughing she turns to the side bouncing what her mama gave her. He laughs and shakes his head, he had forgotten how nice her backside was but even more he'd forgotten how silly she was. "Come here girl, you so silly." He extends his arms hoping he will atleast regain all the memories of how she felt in his arms. Hoping touching her will make all the time that has passed feel like mere minutes. She cuts her eyes at him with a smile still in them, twisting her lips to the side and matches his welcoming position. "Uhnnnn" he makes that squeezing to tight but I like hug sound. His arms wrapped around her waist and find a resting spot in the lift of her behind that now causes a deep arch in her back. He thinks about how he use to have to bend her a certain way to form that shape which is now natural to her body shape. "Damn she must have been hitting the gym heavy to keep her mind off of us not having sex," he thinks. He closes his eyes and inhales her smell deeply and again he asks himself, how could he have let so much time pass, how could she be so different yet the same in such a short period of time.

Nikki loved this man that now longingly held her. She loved him so much that although he wasn’t the number one reason why she stayed he definitely help tip the scales. Many, many days had past, even more lonely nights. Nights she thought about finding solace in the bed and arms of other men but just couldn’t bring herself to do it. The love she felt for him was transformative. In the face of every man she saw him. Even when she concluded he had to have been seeing someone else because nothing else could explain a man letting so much time pass since seeing the woman he said he loved. For the first 22 days she let it drive her crazy, counting everyone that went by. After deciding that she would either stay with him or leave him and choosing to stay she stopped counting and started focusing on herself. She started going back to yoga class, taking herself out on dates and spending plenty of nights out with the girls. She thought about getting a girlfriend since he was still the only man for her but her body still had needs but even that she couldn’t bring herself to doing. So she patiently waited alone. They still spoke, the love was still there but between his busy work and travel schedule and her being too bad of a chick to beg 3 months had passed in a flash. The look in his eyes and the tightness of his grip made it all worth while, it was so obvious he missed her and was kicking himself in the ass for letting her get so far away.

The days leading up to the meeting she had tried to plan how she would act. She was torn between being cold and timid or warm and welcoming. But none of that mattered now. Walking up see kept her eyes off of him but could still see him. She could tell he was thinking, his face kept changing, over and over again in her head she just kept telling herself "be cool nikki, be cool." For a second she took a glance at herself in a store front and had to smirk, she looked good. She couldn't wait to get close enough to see his reaction. His lust always made a priceless look spread across his face. How would this day go she wondered, would it all be small talk and pretending time hadn't passed or would they just fall back into place like no time had passed at all. They embraced for a long while, and finally he said "damn girl, I've missed you." "Obviously not enough" Nikki replies pulling away and crossing her arms. "Why you say that" "hmmmph you tell me" " come on Nikki, I thought we were gonna have a good day" " no one said we weren't but you can't tell someone you've missed them when you haven't attempted to see them in God knows how long"

She was right, he had fucked up and his joy of seeing her had now turned into fear. Had she arranged this meeting just to let him know she'd moved on? Seeing the worry on his face, she switched her stance, dropped her arms and rubbed him on his arm, "its ok love we have all day to talk about it."
And that they did, walking around downtown Brooklyn every once in a while stopping into a shop that had something interesting dangling in the window. They talked about what they had been up to, all the things that they couldn't get filled in on via phone or text. He asked about how she had changed, denying she had "perhaps you just didn't notice all of me before, time tends to do that" he hated her sarcasm and how she played cool when she was steaming mad but her arrogance today did nothing but turn him on. In the midst of a few tense moments he had to adjust himself to hide how much he wanted her. The combination of watching her stand boldly in Dereon jeans ,pink wife beater and matching pumps and hearing the passion he'd almost forgotten she spoke with his desire for her compiled itself. All the days that passed all the nights he spent working, their weight came down on him like a tone of bricks. Flashes of how she moaned and cried his name, the scratches she always left on his shoulders, her tightness! He almost shivered. Noticing the blanked out look on his face Nikki stopped ranting about noone every being that busy and asked "are you ok" when he didn't respond she moved a little closer touched his knee and called him something she hadn't let slip from her lips in months "gummy, are you ok, talk to me" the sound of the pet name she gave him from the day they met, broke him out of his trance and he couldn't hold it any more. Taking his right hand and placing it behind her head and his left around her waist he kissed her a resentful kiss. Holding her so tight that she couldn't resist even if she wanted to. His kiss begged of forgiveness and mercy. Her cheeks felt damp but from his tears and not her own. Feeling this man say sorry with ever lap of his tongue, hearing his please forgive me with each tighten of his grasp, wanting to fight back, not wanting to let him back so easy but she could feel his heart beat call her name. He loved her and all the nights of questioning were resolved with that kiss.

To Be Continued...

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Warm and delicate
Stinging and succulent
Pour upon breast perked and ready
Suckled on
Licked and slurped
Drizzled down middles
Pour up centers
Sticky and tantilizing
Sexual and revitalizing
Lips stuck to parts made separate
Tongue gathers sensations soooo demanded
Begging taste me and be tasted, nourished by the nectar of my being
Awaken my insides
Listen closely and hear butterflies and honey bees singing
Your love is sweet
Sweeter than Honey to me

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How do you measure love

How do you measure love
Can you take a ruler to it to see how high it'll stand
Or lay it on a scale to see how heavy it weighs
Can it be placed in a bucket to see how much it can fill
Or is it something like the air
All encompassing, invading, no need to look for it cause its always right there
Can't always see it, nor smell it or taste but know it when you feel it especially at its roughest but appreciate it none the less at its softest

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Love Menagé

My heart is on fire
I can feel my selves cleaving
A burning in my belly
Breathing becomes obvious
Chest rising and falling
My nerves twitching
Body rocking
I'm beginning to tremble
Don't know if its from anger or anxiety
I'm scared of her
I want her
Want to get closer
Want her to disappear
Two roads
Which to take
In the books
The ones by dickey and zane
There's never a happy ending
The three never become one
I want to write the other story
The story where everyone wins
He loves her she loves him together they share her
A complete circle
They can walk hand in hand
Love freely
Be freely
All needs met